BREAKING!!! EXTREMELY FAT CHRIS CHRISTIE DRIVES SELF TO HOSPITAL

"I just received word that I am positive for COVID-19," Christie wrote. "I want to thank all of my friends and colleagues who have reached out to ask how I was feeling in the last day or two. I will be receiving medical attention today and will keep the necessary folks apprised of my condition."

[post redacted because independent.co.uk thinks that links to their ridiculous rag are a bad thing. Somebody might want to tell them how the internet works. Or not. We don't really care. They do suck though. Our advice is that you should not click on the link and whatever you do, don't read their truly terrible articles.]

We're sending thoughts, prayers and cheeseburgers!

Must be nice to just check into the hospital just to be safe!

I think he knows he's going down and fast. I got a feeling in my bones he's gonna get hit hard. My bones are never wrong!

No worries Chris. If you die we'll just have a backhoe dig a deep hole on the beach and roll you into it and cover you with sand. Earth to earth, and all that.

Ghouliani will outlive them all.

Happier and Slimmer times.

Do they have a Cinnabon in the hospital? Asking for a friend

I could forgive the speech impediment and maybe even the politics. But those thighs.

OMG. This weekend's news is crazy, WTF!

[quote]Ghouliani will outlive them all.

God, if you are listening...

oh, that lil nothing gonna be fine. Nothing that a couple of boxes o' Star Crunches cain't fix!

[quote]I could forgive the speech impediment and maybe even the politics. But those thighs.

Those thighs?

What about that GUNT? That FUPA?

Is he mainlining high fructose corn syrup? How can you eat that much to maintain that weight? This might be a karmic sling shot for blocking that bridge s few years back. He knows a thing or two about causing intentional suffering. Mercury is getting ready to go retrograde in 10 days and doesn’t end until exactly Election Day. Strange days we are living in.

Lest we forget this little gem...

That is one meaty [italic]mons veneris[/italic]

[quote]Is he mainlining high fructose corn syrup?

It's in his IV drip now.

Underlying, overeating conditions. He makes Trump looks like Darfur Orphan.

Dr Brix,

Tell us, is it true that Covid-19 really loves to sink its teeth into a meaty GUNT/FUPA?

Fat Fatty always bragged, "I was a jock!"

(Yeah, summo wrestling is a sport.)

I LIKE FAT GUNTS AND I CANNOT LIE

[quote]"...and will keep the necessary folks apprised of my condition."

Who the fuck does he think gives a rat's ass about his condition? He's not a government official, and he probably isn't even on Trump's campaign payroll!

Go away you fat loser, you're stinking up the joint!

I feel sorry for wife Mary Pat, having to sleep next to him. A radio host calls him "Shamu."

R14 girl with the straw hat already has a double chin.

Can we PLEASE stop fat shaming Chris Chistie? He already has enough on his plate.

[quote]Can we PLEASE stop fat shaming Chris Christie? He already has enough on his plate.

And the weight of all this isn't helping him...

And can we go back to fat-shaming Chrissy Metz

Hmmm, I wonder if Chrissy is butch enough to play him in the TV Movie about this...

"Mother May I Eat with Corona" (still brainstorming the title)

I heard they're going close down the George Washington bridge

and all the NJ area Taco Bell drive-thrus

to honor Chris Christie

Thoughts and prayers to the hospital kitchen workers.

for all those that make fun of ANYONE that is overweight. I know someone who had the perfect body and made fun of all those that had even a few extra pounds. He just always thought it was so funny. Guess what, he is now larger than any of the ones he had teased had ever been. 𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐚

[Quote] He already has enough on his plate.

I see what you did there!

Best headline of the week!!

Apparently, the hospital forklift was not available.

[Quote] for all those that make fun of ANYONE that is overweight.

We’re making fun of specifically because he’s fat AND pure evil

I have trouble believing that the would have checked him into the hospital out of an abundance of caution.

They do not want anyone in the hospital with Covid who is managing their symptoms fine because they don't want them infecting anyone needlessly.

Additionally, they don't need Christie risking getting some staph infection or the regular flu while in the hospital.

He's probably on oxygen as well and who knows what else.

[quote]I have trouble believing that the would have checked him into the hospital out of an abundance of caution

How about an abundance of rice pudding?

I think he does a good job as a commentator on ABCs This Week.

hahahah r39 is why I love DL

In what county is Krispy Kreme General located?

[quote] Must be nice to just check into the hospital just to be safe!

In the American healthcare system people can do that - no waiting. It’s nice to be able to do that if you are concerned you may have a serious medical issue.

Retweet: “Christie gave Trump one piece of advice as debate coach: “People who overcome stuttering have a harder time maintaining their train of thought when interrupted. Keep interrupting him and he’ll stumble when he tries to speak. This will enforce the ‘senile’ narrative.”

Breaking! Christie moved to Intensive Cake Unit!!

Just because Shannan liked to share their lives on Facebook doesn't mean she deserved to be killed.

R45, you got me. I started googling intensive care...

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